Saturday, 21 February 2015

Rambles (#2): On Ambition

I suppose I could be called ambitious, after all, not only do I want to be a writer (something which recently I've become very determined to be) but I've also found that I'm also quite ambitious in everyday terms. I always want to do at least one productive thing every day and I hate waking up late (mostly I aim to be up by 10 o' clock) because I feel like I'm wasting the day away sleeping when I could be getting stuff done (plus I don't like missing the oppurtunity to have breakfast, I like my food). Most people my age that I've come across find this quite strange and look at me weirdly when I say I've never slept later than 11am. But I'm most productive in the mornings and early afternoons, I think, so I might as well be awake when I'm most productive.
So, I like to do at least one productive thing a day. And it's not just that I like to do it, I also feel like I have to if I want to achieve my goals and go through with my plans, of which I have a lot. I do plan a lot, but (most of the time) I manage to not plan so much that I don't actually get any of what I'm planning done. Obviously I do have days when I feel incredibly tired or just utterly lazy and then I don't get anything done apart from watching television and YouTube videos. If I'm ahead on my plans or if I've been working hard and I feel like I deserve a day off then I don't feel bad about having a lazy day, but if that's not the case and I don't feel like I deserve a rest then I feel pretty bad if I do have a lazy day.  And that's why I get stuff done, because it stops me from feeling bad and actually makes me feel happy. And I suppose that contributes to making me pretty ambitious.
I am not too sure why I'm writing this and putting it out there, but perhaps I just really needed to explain it to myself, and writing is always a good way to make things clearer in your mind. I do find that, quite a lot of the time, I'm writing because I need to sort out my thoughts.

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